As parents, it is natural to want to discipline our children when they misbehave. However, one method of discipline that has been widely debated is spanking. While some argue that Spanking is an effective form of discipline, several research has shown that Spanking can be more harmful than helpful. In fact, Spanking hurts more than you may think.
Spanking is a form of physical punishment in which a person (usually an adult) strikes a child’s buttocks with an open hand or an object such as a paddle, belt, or switch. The intention is to cause pain and discomfort as a consequence for a child’s perceived misbehaviour. Spanking is often used as a disciplinary measure to correct or modify a child’s behaviour, to deter them from repeating a negative action, or to assert parental authority.
Spanking can vary in intensity and frequency, from a single swat to multiple blows. The degree of force used can also vary, from a light tap to a more severe hit that causes bruising or injury. The age of the child being spanked can also vary, from very young children to adolescents. While Spanking may seem like a quick and easy way to discipline a child, it can have negative consequences for both the child and the parent.
One of the most significant harms of Spanking is its impact on a child’s mental health. Studies have found that children who are spanked are more likely to develop mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, and aggression. This is because Spanking can cause children to feel humiliated, powerless, and afraid. Additionally, Spanking can damage the relationship between a parent and child, leading to feelings of resentment and distrust.
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“The harmful effects of corporal punishment on children include increased aggression, delinquency, and mental health problems.”
Gershoff, E. T. (2002)
Spanking can also have long-term physical effects on a child’s brain. Research has shown that Spanking can cause changes in the brain’s structure and function, particularly in areas related to emotion regulation and cognitive control. This can lead to difficulties in learning, problem-solving, and social interactions.
Parents who punish their kids by Spanking, slapping, pinching, pulling, or throwing things at them are violating the kid’s right to physical integrity and respect for human dignity. Furthermore, this punishment will only convey the wrong message to children, increasing the perception of threat with no positive outcomes and damaging the parent-to-child relationship. Finally, the damaged parent-child relationship may be mediated by parent-child attachment disruptions resulting from inflicted pain. Studies show that children who experience negative parenting, such as Spanking, are more at risk of relationship troubles, anxiety, depression and aggressive behaviour.
In addition to the negative effects on children, Spanking can also have negative effects on parents. Parents who use Spanking as a form of discipline are more likely to experience high levels of stress, anxiety, and depression. This is because Spanking can cause feelings of guilt, shame, and doubt in parents, which can lead to a breakdown in the parent-child relationship.
The American Academy of Pediatrics warned that the punishment is ineffective and can be detrimental to children’s health. Physicians familiar with the research confidently and strongly advise against this punishment. Instead, parents and caregivers are encouraged to adopt healthy forms of discipline to improve their children’s healthy development.
Modelling Positive Behavior:Â Parents can model positive behaviour by demonstrating positive communication, problem-solving, and emotional regulation skills. Children tend to copy what they see their parents do, so it is important to model the behaviour you want to see in your children.
Clear boundaries and consequences:Â Setting clear boundaries and consequences for misbehaviour helps children understand what is expected of them and what the consequences will be if they misbehave. It is important to communicate these boundaries and consequences calmly and clearly.
Attention:Â Children need ultimate attention to encourage their good behaviours and discourage the bad ones. Attention is a powerful tool for effective discipline.Â
Hear Them Out:Â Always hear them out by listening. Hearing them out is essential to help them solve the problem they might be facing.
Keep Them Busy:Â Sometimes, children misbehave. So when they are bored, Find things to keep them engaged.
Natural Consequences: Give them plenty of attention for good behaviour, explain and ignore their bad behaviour as long as it’s not dangerous for them because this will teach them the natural consequences of their actions. So, for example, instead of shouting and yelling when your child refuses to wear a coat on a cold day, it will be best to explain why this is wrong and ignore her if she doesn’t listen, as it will not be long before she feels cold and uncomfortable.
Be Prepared For Trouble:Â Always plan for an environment where your child might have trouble behaving. Prepare them for upcoming activities and how you would love them to behave.
Positive reinforcement:Â Positive reinforcement involves rewarding good behaviour with praise, attention, or other positive incentives. Praise their success and good tries. Point out their good behaviours immediately you notice them and let them know when they do something bad. For example, parents can praise their child for sharing or helping out around the house or give them a sticker for completing a task.
Time Out:Â Whenever a child misbehaves, restrict them from where the misbehaviour happened for about one minute to two. Time-outs can effectively give children a chance to calm down and reflect on their behaviour. Time-outs should be used sparingly and as a chance for children to self-regulate rather than as a punishment.
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“Effective discipline should be based on a balance of warmth and control.”
Baumrind, D. (1996)
There is no such like perfect parenting. It’s a lifelong learning process, be kind to yourself because no one knows it all. Of course, you will make mistakes, but how you handle them builds character in yourself and your child.
Generally, kids have the special ability to drive us crazy. as a parent, you get frustrated and lose some nerves in the heat of the moment. When this happens, give yourself a few minutes’ walk-away to take deep breaths, relax or call a friend, and return to your child to start over again when you feel better. Learn to apologise to your child, express your concerns and explain how you will subsequently handle the situation. Keep to your promise, as this will teach your child how to correct mistakes.
Observe your child’s behaviour, communicate clearly, apply contingent consequences and avoid corporal punishment and harsh words. Adopting healthy forms of discipline will improve your child’s healthy development.
We believe together. We can give our children the root to grow and the wings to fly.
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“Positive parenting practices such as positive reinforcement, clear communication, and parental monitoring are effective ways to prevent adolescent substance use.”
Sanders, M. R., & Turner, K. M. T. (2015).
REFERENCE LISTBaumrind, D. (1996). The discipline controversy revisited. Family Relations, 45(4), 405-414. doi: 10.2307/585510
Gershoff, E. T. (2002). Corporal punishment, physical abuse, and the burden of proof: Reply to Baumrind, Larzelere, and Cowan (2002), Holden (2002), and Parke (2002). Psychological Bulletin, 128(4), 602-611. doi: 10.1037/0033-2909.128.4.602
Lansford, J. E., Wager, L. B., Bates, J. E., Pettit, G. S., & Dodge, K. A. (2012). Forms of Spanking and children’s externalizing behaviors. Family Relations, 61(2), 224-236. doi: 10.1111/j.1741-3729.2011.00689.x
Parenting Science. (n.d.). Positive discipline: What is it and how to do it. Retrieved from https://www.parentingscience.com/positive-discipline.html
Sanders, M. R., & Turner, K. M. T. (2015). The importance of parenting in preventing adolescent substance use. Journal of Drug Abuse, 1(1), 1-8. doi: 10.6000/2369-9993.2015.01.01.1
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