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How do you even begin to gentle parent a child who can’t fully understand what you’re saying? It’s a question that frustrates so many parents. Babies and toddlers under two might not have the vocabulary to respond, but they are far more perceptive and aware than you might realise. As one mum explained in her viral TikTok, “If a 6-month-old can learn sign language, your 2-year-old understands more than you think.”
This insight sets the stage for a shift in how we approach parenting toddlers. It’s not about controlling their every move or reacting to every outburst. It’s about creating an environment where they can thrive, respecting their budding autonomy, and teaching them how to navigate emotions in a safe and supportive way.
Here, we’ll break down the first three of ten foundational gentle parenting principles this mum shared in her video. These ideas are practical, transformative, and grounded in respect for your child’s unique developmental stage.
Toddlers are naturally curious. Their days are filled with exploration—touching, grabbing, and testing their limits. While this is exciting for them, it can be exhausting for you. The constant refrain of “no, don’t touch that” or “stop, that’s dangerous” can leave both parent and child feeling frustrated.
This is where the concept of “yes” spaces comes in. A “yes” space is a completely safe area where your child can explore freely, without the need for constant supervision or redirection. Think of it as an invitation for your toddler to discover their environment on their own terms.
Baby-proof the area thoroughly: remove glassware, cover outlets, secure furniture, and eliminate choking hazards. Close off unsafe spaces like bathrooms or stairs with baby gates or closed doors. With this preparation, you can step back and let your toddler play without fear of them breaking something—or hurting themselves.
As the mum explained, “No one likes to constantly say no. It’s frustrating for you, and it’s overwhelming for them. Yes spaces reduce everyone’s stress.”
This shift not only creates a more peaceful environment but also fosters independence and confidence in your child. They learn to navigate their world in a way that feels empowering rather than restrictive.
@sabriena_abrre Replying to @daniellejaidee17 This took me back to those sweet months🥰 Your baby understands so much more than you think at this age! DISCLAIMER: I’m no “parent coach” or anyone official. This is the parenting style I’ve adopted and use with my girls. It’s what work for me and them, and what I’ve found extremely successful. Take what you need and leave what you don’t. If it doesn’t resonate with you, that’s okay too.❤️ Keep in mind this is meant as a mom with neurotypical children ages 2 & 4. Anything beyond that is info/advice I don’t feel comfortable sharing. #gentleparenting #consciousparenting #respectfulparenting #toddlermom #momtok #firsttimeparents ♬ original sound - Sabriena Abrre
One of the hardest parts of parenting is dealing with crying. It’s instinctual to want to soothe your child as quickly as possible, whether by offering a pacifier, distracting them with a toy, or simply trying to stop the tears. But what if crying wasn’t something to be fixed?
“Crying is not the enemy,” the mum explained. “It’s just communication.”
When a toddler cries, they’re expressing something they can’t yet put into words. Rather than rushing to stop the tears, try acknowledging the emotion behind them. For example:
“I see you’re upset because you wanted to play with the toilet water, but it’s yucky. You can play with this toy instead.”
This approach does two important things. First, it validates your child’s feelings, showing them that it’s okay to be upset. Second, it teaches them how to process disappointment in a healthy way.
Of course, not all cries are created equal. If your child is hurt or in danger, immediate attention is necessary. But for non-urgent cries, taking a moment to acknowledge their emotions can go a long way.
One commenter on the video shared how this approach has shifted their perspective:
“I love how you acknowledge their emotions instead of trying to distract them. It’s such a respectful way to parent.” — @brittany
Over time, this method can help your child develop better emotional regulation. They’ll cry less often—not because their feelings are being dismissed, but because they feel heard and understood.
Respecting a child’s bodily autonomy might sound like something for teenagers, but it starts much earlier. One of the most discussed points in the TikTok video was this: ask your child’s permission before picking them up.
“Even if they can’t talk yet, they can communicate yes or no in their own way,” the mum explained. “If it’s not an emergency, wait for their response before you act.”
For times when you do need to pick them up, like putting them in a car seat, you can still offer a warning:
“I need to pick you up now to put you in the car. I’ll count to three—1, 2, 3, up!”
This practice isn’t just about respecting your child’s autonomy. It’s about teaching them that their body belongs to them and that others should respect it too. Over time, this understanding will extend to how they interact with other people’s boundaries.
This principle also applies to interactions with family members. If your child doesn’t want to hug grandma or go to an aunt, respect that decision. Instead, encourage the relative to engage with your child on their level—play a game, get down on the floor, and build trust.
“I always want a hug goodbye from my grandson, but sometimes he doesn’t want to,” one commenter shared. “It’s hard, but I respect his choice and walk away.” — @lucilocket
Teaching bodily autonomy isn’t always easy, especially when it goes against societal norms. But the lesson it imparts is invaluable: your child learns to advocate for themselves and respect others’ boundaries, laying the groundwork for healthy relationships later in life.
If you’re reading this and thinking, “That sounds great, but it’s so hard to follow all the time,” you’re not alone. Parenting is messy, and no one gets it right 100% of the time. What matters is the effort you put in and the connection you build with your child.
Gentle parenting isn’t about being permissive or avoiding conflict. It’s about understanding where your child is developmentally and responding in a way that respects their emotions and autonomy. It’s about teaching, guiding, and creating a safe space for them to grow.
As the mum in the video put it: “It’s not about being perfect. It’s about trying to do better and building trust with your child.”
If these ideas feel overwhelming, start small. Try baby-proofing one room to create a yes space. Pause the next time your child cries, and acknowledge their feelings instead of rushing to fix the problem. Practice asking for permission before picking them up.
Over time, these small changes can have a big impact on your relationship with your child. You’ll notice fewer power struggles, more trust, and a stronger connection.
These first three tips—yes spaces, reframing crying, and respecting bodily autonomy—are just the beginning. As the mum in the video hinted, there are many more strategies to explore. Each one builds on the foundation of understanding, respect, and connection.
Parenting toddlers under two is a challenging season, but it’s also a beautiful opportunity to nurture their growth in meaningful ways. By embracing gentle parenting principles, you’re not just teaching them how to navigate the world. You’re also showing them that they’re loved, valued, and respected for who they are.
© Mindsmaking 2024
