A Mum’s Journey Through the Toddler Trenches

Motherhood is a journey full of unexpected twists, turns, and emotions that can catch you off guard. For one mum, the shift from newborn to toddlerhood was nothing short of a wake-up call. She had braced herself for the exhaustion of sleepless nights and the emotional weight of postpartum struggles, thinking those were the hardest parts of motherhood. But when her baby grew into a toddler, she realized a new level of chaos was waiting just around the corner.

The Sweet Exhaustion of the Newborn Days

She reflected on the newborn days with mixed emotions. There was an undeniable heaviness during those early weeks—an endless cycle of pumping, feeding, and trying to snatch snippets of rest while battling postpartum depression. For her, being an exclusive pumper wasn’t just physically demanding but also emotionally isolating. Each day felt like a test of endurance.

And yet, amidst the exhaustion, there was sweetness, too. With their tiny hands and sleepy sighs, newborns can melt your heart. They spend most of their time snoozing, cuddled up on your chest, making you feel like you’re their entire world. This phase is challenging yet incredibly tender.

One mum commented, “I can’t believe, looking back now, how upset I was about having to lie on the couch all day with my baby.” It’s true that when you’re in the moment, the constant demands of a newborn can feel overwhelming. But in hindsight, those quiet moments on the couch, holding a tiny bundle of love, seem like a gift.

Stepping Into the Trenches of Toddlerhood

Fast forward to toddlerhood, and everything changes. Gone are the days of sleepy snuggles and milk-drunk smiles. Now, her child is a whirlwind of energy, curiosity, and, yes, opinions. Toddlers don’t just cry for milk or diaper changes—they cry because you didn’t let them eat a rock.

She laughs at the absurdity now, but at the moment, these tantrums can feel like emotional hurricanes. Her 16-month-old son has perfected throwing a fit over the most minor inconveniences. A playful moment can quickly escalate into a full-blown meltdown because he didn’t get his way.

Toddlers are masters of unpredictability. One moment, they’re giggling and running around, and the next, they’re lying on the floor, screaming about something as trivial as the color of their socks. Another mum chimed in with a relatable comment: “18 months is the trenches. No one can convince me otherwise.” And truly, it’s hard to argue with that.

Sleepless Nights Versus Emotional Hurricanes

The biggest surprise for her was realizing that the sleep deprivation of the newborn phase wasn’t necessarily the hardest part of parenting. Back then, she was up every two hours at night, but there were pockets of rest during the day while her baby napped. Newborns, after all, spend much of their time sleeping.

Now, as the mum of a toddler, sleep is no longer the issue. Her son sleeps through the night, which should, in theory, make life easier. But with toddlers, the challenges don’t come at 2 a.m.—they come during the day when you’re trying to navigate their rollercoaster of emotions.

One mum shared her perspective, saying, “Mine is 18 months old, and it is ROUGH, but I’d rather the tantrums and emotional breakdowns than running on ZERO sleep and postpartum depression.” It’s a sentiment many mums can relate to. While the exhaustion of newborn life is relentless, toddlerhood tests your patience and emotional stamina in entirely different ways.

The Chaos and Comedy of Toddler Meltdowns

If there’s one thing toddlerhood guarantees, it’s unpredictability. Her son has cried because he couldn’t touch the dog’s food, thrown a tantrum over not being allowed to climb on the table, and even sucker-punched her in the face—only to burst into tears, blaming her for the incident.

These moments, while maddening at the moment, often become laughable with time. She’s learned to find humor in the chaos, even when it feels like she’s barely holding it together. After all, toddlers can turn the simplest things into the most dramatic events.

Another mum commented, “I’d rather deal with the tantrums than the sleepless nights, but some days it feels like a toss-up!” This sentiment perfectly sums up toddlerhood. Each phase of parenting has unique challenges, and sometimes, it’s hard to decide which one is harder.

Missing the Simplicity of the Newborn Phase

Despite the challenges of those early weeks, she longs for the newborn phase again. There’s a certain simplicity to caring for a newborn. You’re exhausted, but the demands are straightforward: feed, burp, change, cuddle, repeat. There are no tantrums, power struggles, or emotional outbursts over things that don’t make sense.

She looks forward to the day she gets to experience those newborn snuggles again. Holding a tiny baby, rocking it to sleep, and enjoying the quiet moments feels like a welcome reprieve from the constant energy of toddlerhood. Plus, with her husband stepping up to handle the toddler, she might savor those newborn days the second time.

Why the Challenges Are Worth It

Motherhood isn’t about comparing one phase to another or deciding which is harder. Each stage brings its joys and struggles, testing you differently. The newborn phase challenges your endurance, while toddlerhood pushes your patience and sense of humor to the limit.

For every tantrum, there’s a moment of pure joy, a big hug, a sweet smile, or a spontaneous giggle that reminds you why it’s all worth it. These are the moments that make the trenches bearable.

To the mums who feel like they’re barely keeping their heads above water, she offers this reminder: It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. You’re not alone. Every mum has been there, wondering if they’re doing enough or’lll ever make it through the chaos. But the truth is, these tough days are temporary. One day, you’ll look back and laugh at the absurd moments, like when your toddler cried because you wouldn’t let them eat a rock.