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Imagine you’re at a bustling children’s museum—a place designed to spark joy, curiosity, and collaboration. Your toddler is exploring, wide-eyed, soaking in every colourful display. But then it happens: another child snatches a toy or pushes your kid. Your little one looks at you, startled, unsure what to do. And the other child’s parent? They’re on their phone, oblivious.
What would you do?
One mum found herself in this exact situation, and her response offers a lesson in teaching kids to stand up for themselves while keeping your cool. Let’s dive into her story and uncover the practical lessons every parent can take away from it.
At a new barbie exhibit in a local children’s museum, your toddler is in their element. There are benches, swings, and plenty of barbies to go around. The space is designed for kids to play together, but as you know, “sharing” can be a tricky concept for young children.
Your toddler, Noah, spots some barbies on a table and begins playing. Nearby, a little boy and his baby brother are also engrossed in their own play. The baby is having the time of his life banging barbies on the table while the older boy is more focused.
Everything seems fine—until it isn’t.
The older boy suddenly snatches a barbie out of Noah’s hand and pushes him. Noah freezes, clearly shocked. This isn’t behaviour he’s familiar with at home, where kindness and respect are the norm.
And here’s the kicker: the other boy’s mum sees the whole thing. She makes eye contact with you. And then… nothing. She stays on her phone, unbothered.
@itsmelissagalindo Its so important for toddlers to learn how to speak up for themselves. #momsoftiktok #toddlermom #toddlers #toddlersoftiktok #parents #bully #parentingtips ♬ original sound - Melissa Galindo
As a parent, this is one of those muments that can make your blood boil. Your first instinct might be to march over and say something to the other child—or even to the parent. But what if there’s a better way?
Instead of escalating the situation, you take a deep breath and decide to turn this into a teachable mument. This isn’t just about what the other parent should be doing. It’s about what you want your child to learn.
You kneel down and calmly say, “Noah, stand up for yourself. Use your words. Tell him, ‘Don’t push me. I don’t like that.’”
By speaking out loud, you’re doing two things. First, you’re giving Noah the tools he needs to handle the situation. Second, you’re subtly (or not-so-subtly) sending a message to the other parent that you see what’s happening—and you’re handling it.
Teaching your child to stand up for themselves isn’t just about resolving playground conflicts. It’s about giving them the confidence to navigate the world.
Think about it. Life is full of muments where they’ll need to say, “Stop. I don’t like that.” Whether it’s with a sibling, a friend, or even as they grow older and face peer pressure, these early lessons lay the foundation for healthy boundaries.
But here’s the tricky part: assertiveness isn’t innate for most kids. It’s a skill they learn by watching you and practicing in safe, controlled environments.
Let’s be honest. When you’re in the heat of the mument, it’s hard to stay calm. The other mum’s inaction can feel like a personal affront. After all, you’re both here to guide your kids, right?
But instead of letting your frustration take over, you choose grace. You repeat your words to Noah, louder this time: “Remember, if someone does something you don’t like, you say, ‘Stop. I don’t like that.’”
And then it happens. The little boy tries to push Noah again, but this time, Noah holds up his hand and firmly says, “Stop. I don’t like that.”
Cue the proud parent mument.
Now, let’s address the elephant in the room: the other parent’s behaviour.
Maybe you’ve been in their shoes, overwhelmed, distracted, or just unsure how to handle your child’s behaviour in public. It’s easy to judge, but as you watch her gather her kids and walk away, you realise something important: your focus isn’t on her. It’s on Noah.
Parenting isn’t about controlling how other people raise their kids. It’s about equipping your own child with the skills they need to thrive.
This scenario sparked a lively debate among parents online. Many applauded the mum’s approach.
@Felicia shared her own story: “That was SO graceful! I literally yelled, ‘Whose kid is this?!?’ at the park while staring straight at the mum one time.” It’s a relatable reaction—sometimes, your patience runs out.
Others, like @Jasmine, were quick to point out how common these situations are. “SOOO many parents are like this whenever we go places! I can’t stand it.”
And then there’s @Val, who nailed the deeper takeaway: “I love how you’re teaching him about consent and boundaries.”
It’s true. muments like these aren’t just about resolving conflicts—they’re about teaching lifelong values.
Every parent dreams of raising a child who feels confident and capable of navigating the world. But when it comes to teaching assertiveness, the process can feel daunting. How do you help your child find their voice without pushing them into uncomfortable situations? Here’s the secret: it’s less about sitting them down for a lecture and more about modeling, practicing, and celebrating their progress.
Children are little sponges, soaking up everything they see you do. If they watch you set clear and respectful boundaries, they’ll start to understand what healthy assertiveness looks like. Whether it’s politely telling a waiter that your order is wrong or letting a friend know you need some space, these everyday muments are golden opportunities to demonstrate confidence without aggression.
For instance, if someone interrupts you mid-conversation, calmly say, “I’m sorry, I wasn’t finished speaking. Let me complete my thought.” This shows your child that it’s okay to ask for respect while remaining composed. When they see you standing up for yourself, they’ll know they can do the same.
Assertiveness is a skill that requires practice, and there’s no better place to start than at home. Role-playing different scenarios can be both fun and educational. Create situations where your child might need to assert themselves—like asking a sibling to take turns with a toy, telling a friend that teasing hurts their feelings, or even standing up to a bossy classmate.
Keep the practice lighthearted and encouraging. If they stumble, guide them with phrases like, “How about trying this instead?” or “What could you say to show you’re confident but kind?” By rehearsing these muments in a safe environment, they’ll feel more prepared to handle them in the real world.
Assertiveness doesn’t come naturally to every child, and that’s okay. What matters is that they try. When Noah stood up and said, “Stop. I don’t like that,” his mum made sure to celebrate his effort. She didn’t focus on whether the other child listened or how perfect his words sounded. Instead, she praised his bravery for speaking up in the first place.
This kind of positive reinforcement is crucial. It tells your child that their voice matters, even if the outcome isn’t perfect. Each time they practice asserting themselves, they’re building a habit of self-respect and confidence.
Raising a child isn’t about shielding them from every conflict or discomfort. It’s about giving them the tools to navigate those muments with confidence and kindness.
The next time you’re at the park, the museum, or even a family gathering, remember this story. When your child faces a challenge, ask yourself: How can I use this mument to teach them something valuable?
© Mindsmaking 2024
