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If you’re a mum, chances are someone’s asked you: “When did you know you were done?” It sounds so simple, doesn’t it? But the answer is rarely black and white.
For one mum, this question sparked a heartfelt TikTok video that has since captured the attention of almost 8,000 commenters. Her story of navigating the bittersweet emotions of knowing (or not knowing) when to stop having kids is raw, real, and incredibly relatable.
This mum’s honesty opened the floodgates for mums everywhere to share their thoughts on family, closure, and the lingering pull of “baby fever.” Her story is not just about deciding to be done—it’s about navigating the complex layers of motherhood, identity, and love.
For this mum, the plan seemed simple enough. She wanted five kids, while her husband thought four was a more “normal” number. That sounds fair, right? But life threw her a curveball: she ended up pregnant with twins.
This pregnancy became the tipping point. With five kids already in the picture (including the ones she was carrying), the decision seemed clear—no more babies. To ensure future her didn’t make a decision in the throes of baby fever, she asked her husband to get a vasectomy. “Just do it now!” she told him.
And he did.
Months later, while shopping in a Nike outlet, the couple got the call confirming the vasectomy had been successful. What should have been a moment of relief turned into something entirely different. Standing in the middle of the store, she burst into tears.
Her husband, understandably confused, asked, “Are you fine?” She wasn’t fine. Two babies were still growing inside her, but the finality of that call hit her hard.
She remembers thinking, “I do not want any more children. I know it. I know it. But I would have a baby right now. Right now. I would have infinity babies.”
@sarahmakesmelaugh I just have lifelong baby fever and that’s something I’ve accepted about myself okay? #momsoftiktok #momtok #momtiktok #funnyparents #funnyparenting #pregnancy #fyp #foryou #trending ♬ original sound - Sarah
The decision to stop having kids is one thing. Living with it is another. For this mum, the vasectomy was a logical choice, yet her emotions told a different story.
The TikTok video struck a nerve with mums who could relate to the struggle of balancing their heart’s desires with the realities of life. Many chimed in to share their own experiences of baby fever and the challenges of making peace with their decisions.
One commenter, @MamaB, perfectly encapsulated this tension: “There’s a difference between having another baby and raising another child. I would have a million babies… but I don’t have the patience for another child.”
It’s a sentiment many parents understand. Babies are tiny bundles of possibility—sweet-smelling, sleepy-eyed reminders of new beginnings. But parenting isn’t just about the baby stage. Kids grow, and raising them requires time, energy, and resources that aren’t infinite.
Another mum, @heyitskristty, shared her own take: “I have two and don’t have the resources to have three. But regardless, I think I’ll forever have baby fever. And I hate that. I wish I felt more closure.”
The struggle is real, and it’s layered. Baby fever is less about logic and more about emotion—a longing for the sweetness of a newborn, even when you know your family is complete.
The idea that “you’ll just know” when you’re done having kids is often repeated, but this mum isn’t convinced it applies to everyone. “When they say you’ll know, you might not,” she admitted.
For her, the decision was practical, grounded in what made sense for her family. But the emotional reality of stopping was much harder to accept. Even with five children, she said, “I think I just have lifelong baby fever.”
This perspective resonated deeply with many mums in the comments, who confessed they still grapple with the same feelings—even years after deciding to stop having kids.
One mum reflected, “I thought I was done after three, but the second I held a friend’s baby, it all came rushing back. It’s like your heart doesn’t get the memo.”
Another shared, “We’re done, but I still keep all the tiny baby clothes. I don’t even know why. It’s not logical, but it’s there.”
These stories highlight a universal truth: the end of a chapter doesn’t mean the feelings tied to it simply vanish.
Deciding to stop having children is rarely a purely logical decision. It’s often a mix of practical concerns—finances, space, time—and deeply personal emotions.
For some, like @MamaB, the reality of raising another child makes the decision easier to accept. But even then, the yearning for a baby can linger, like a quiet “hum” in the background.
For others, the decision is driven by external factors. As @heyitskristty pointed out, ‘‘resources can be a limiting factor, even when the heart says otherwise’’.
The mum behind the TikTok video reminds us that these feelings aren’t a sign of weakness or indecision—they’re a natural part of the journey. It’s okay to mourn the end of a season, even when it was the right choice.
So, how do you make peace with the decision to stop having kids? For this mum, it’s about recognising that the longing might never fully disappear—and that’s okay.
It’s about appreciating the family you have, even as you acknowledge the pangs of what could have been. It’s about letting yourself feel all the feelings without judgment.
And it’s about finding solace in the shared experiences of other mums. The nearly 8,000 comments on her TikTok video are proof that these emotions are universal.
One mum commented, “I thought I was alone in this, but reading these stories helps. It’s not just me.” Another added, “It’s messy and complicated, but that’s motherhood, isn’t it?”
This mum’s story is more than a personal reflection—it’s a reminder that motherhood is full of gray areas. It’s about balancing dreams with reality, logic with emotion, and the constant push and pull of what’s best for your family.
Her TikTok video opened the door for a conversation that so many mums need to have. It’s not about finding the “right” answer—it’s about embracing the journey and finding community in the shared experience of motherhood.
So, where do you stand? Do you know you’re done? Or are you still navigating the messy, beautiful, emotional space of figuring it out?
Whether you’re holding onto baby fever or finding peace in the chaos of raising your kids, know this: your feelings are valid, and you’re not alone.
© Mindsmaking 2024
