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At 18 months, toddlers might not be able to string full sentences together, but they’re absorbing everything around them like little sponges. They understand words, tones, and even nuanced expressions.
For instance, you can ask an 18-month-old to throw something in the trash, and more often than not, they’ll march over, open the lid, toss it in, and beam with pride. They’re showing you, “I understand what you’re asking, and I can do it!”
This understanding extends to discipline. When you say “no,” they know what it means. But toddlers also have a stubborn streak—they might pause to look at you, almost weighing their options, before deciding whether to comply.
One mum reflected on this in the comments of the original TikTok:
“My youngest is 17 months, and I’m so glad you shared this! They totally know what you are saying. That ornery grin gets me every time haha.”
That grin? It’s proof they’re testing limits, not to frustrate you but to understand what’s acceptable.
At 18 months, toddlers might not be able to string full sentences together, but they’re absorbing everything around them like little sponges. They understand words, tones, and even nuanced expressions.
For instance, you can ask an 18-month-old to throw something in the trash, and more often than not, they’ll march over, open the lid, toss it in, and beam with pride. They’re showing you, “I understand what you’re asking, and I can do it!”
This understanding extends to discipline. When you say “no,” they know what it means. But toddlers also have a stubborn streak—they might pause to look at you, almost weighing their options, before deciding whether to comply.
One mum reflected on this in the comments of the original TikTok:
“My youngest is 17 months, and I’m so glad you shared this! They totally know what you are saying. That ornery grin gets me every time haha.”
That grin? It’s proof they’re testing limits, not to frustrate you but to understand what’s acceptable.
@laura_milliken Don’t just tell them no! Show them where the ‘yes’ is! #parentingatoddler #18monthsold #respectfulparentinghelp #momsanddadsoftiktoks ♬ original sound - Laura Milliken
The TikTok mum introduced an effective technique that pairs a firm “no” with a clear “yes.” It’s a simple but powerful way to guide toddlers without resorting to yelling.
Imagine this: your toddler is climbing onto a wobbly chair. You firmly say, “No, no, no.” Your little one might pause, grin, and continue climbing anyway. Instead of losing your cool, you calmly remove them from the chair, saying again, “That’s a no, no, no.”
But here’s the twist—you immediately redirect them to something safe and say, “This is a yes.” Maybe you offer them a small stool they can climb or point them to a toy they can explore.
This approach achieves two things:
Consistency is key here. The first few times, your toddler might push back or keep testing the boundary. But over time, they’ll learn what’s off-limits and where they can direct their energy instead.
Toddlers are naturally curious, and sometimes, their curiosity leads to behaviours like hitting, biting, or hair-pulling. These actions aren’t about malice—they’re about exploration. A toddler might hit you out of frustration or pull your hair to see how you react.
When this happens, yelling can escalate the situation or even encourage the behaviour. Instead, the TikTok mum suggests a calm, hands-on approach:
This technique works because it teaches toddlers the behaviour you expect rather than simply punishing them for acting out. When they do show gentleness, reinforce it with praise: “Good job being gentle!”
Parenting a toddler is a test of patience, and it’s easy to feel worn down when your little one pushes boundaries repeatedly. But patience doesn’t mean letting things slide—it means approaching each mument with calm determination, even when it’s hard.
One commenter summed it up beautifully:
“Toddlers are easy. Guide. Redirect. TONS of patience. No yelling necessary.”
Of course, there will be days when it doesn’t feel easy. When your toddler swats at you or yells “no” in response to every request, it can be tempting to throw in the towel. As one mum asked in the comments:
“What if it doesn’t work? Because I DO this, and my child swats at whatever I am giving her or me, screams ‘no’ or ‘stop,’ and proceeds.”
The answer? Stay consistent. Toddlers need to see the same responses over and over before they internalise them. Even when it feels like you’re not getting through, your calm, steady reactions are making an impact.
One of the most profound effects of calm parenting is the connection it fosters. By responding to your toddler with patience and empathy, you’re showing them they can trust you—even when they make mistakes.
When you set boundaries without yelling, you’re teaching them that discipline isn’t about punishment; it’s about guidance. This builds a foundation of mutual respect that will serve you both well as they grow older.
Toddlers are easily distracted, and this can work to your advantage. Redirection isn’t just about stopping unwanted behaviour —it’s about steering your child’s attention toward something positive.
For example, if your toddler is reaching for a fragile item at a friend’s house, calmly say, “That’s a no, no, no.” Then, offer them something else to hold and say, “This is a yes.”
This technique not only keeps your toddler engaged but also prevents you from falling into a pattern of constant “no’s,” which can frustrate both of you.
Parenting toddlers isn’t about grand victories—it’s about the small, everyday wins. Like when your toddler gently pats your arm after being reminded to use “gentle hands.” Or when they proudly choose the safe stool instead of the wobbly chair.
These muments may seem insignificant, but they’re proof that your efforts are paying off. Each time your toddler responds to your guidance, they’re learning and growing in ways that will shape their future behaviour.
Let’s face it—every parent has muments when yelling feels inevitable. Maybe you’re exhausted, overwhelmed, or just plain out of patience. It’s okay to acknowledge those feelings.
The key is to recognise that yelling, while sometimes a relief in the mument, often leads to regret and doesn’t teach the lessons you want your child to learn.
Instead, take a breath. Step away if you need to. Remind yourself that your toddler isn’t trying to frustrate you—they’re trying to figure out the world.
Parenting a toddler can feel like a rollercoaster, but it’s also a time of incredible growth—for both you and your child. By choosing calm guidance over yelling, you’re not just teaching boundaries; you’re building a foundation of trust, respect, and connection.
So the next time your toddler climbs the wobbly chair or pulls your hair, take a breath and remember: this is an opportunity to guide, teach, and connect.
© Mindsmaking 2024
