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Motherhood is a journey full of unexpected twists, turns, and emotions that can catch you off guard. For one mum, the shift from the newborn phase to toddlerhood was nothing short of a wake-up call. She had braced herself for the exhaustion of sleepless nights and the emotional weight of postpartum struggles, thinking those were the hardest parts of motherhood. But when her baby grew into a toddler, she realised a whole new level of chaos was waiting just around the corner.
She reflected on the newborn days with mixed emotions. There was an undeniable heaviness during those early weeks—an endless cycle of pumping, feeding, and trying to snatch snippets of rest while battling postpartum depression. For her, being an exclusive pumper wasn’t just physically demanding but also emotionally isolating. Each day felt like a test of endurance.
And yet, amidst the exhaustion, there was sweetness too. Newborns, with their tiny hands and sleepy sighs, have a way of melting your heart. They spend most of their time snoozing, cuddled up on your chest, making you feel like you’re their entire world. It’s a phase that’s challenging yet incredibly tender.
One mum commented, “I can’t believe, looking back now, how upset I was about having to lie on the couch all day with my baby.” It’s true that when you’re in the moment, the constant demands of a newborn can feel overwhelming. But in hindsight, those quiet moments on the couch, holding a tiny bundle of love, seem like a gift.
Fast forward to toddlerhood, and everything changes. Gone are the days of sleepy snuggles and milk-drunk smiles. Now, her child is a whirlwind of energy, curiosity, and, yes, opinions. Toddlers don’t just cry for milk or diaper changes—they cry because you didn’t let them eat a rock.
She laughs about the absurdity of it now, but in the moment, these tantrums can feel like emotional hurricanes. Her 16-month-old son has perfected the art of throwing a fit over the most minor inconveniences. A playful moment can quickly escalate into a full-blown meltdown because he didn’t get his way.
Toddlers are masters of unpredictability. One moment they’re giggling and running around, and the next, they’re lying on the floor, screaming about something as trivial as the colour of their socks. Another mum chimed in with a relatable comment: “18 months is the trenches. No one can convince me otherwise.” And truly, it’s hard to argue with that.
The biggest surprise for her was realising that the sleep deprivation of the newborn phase wasn’t necessarily the hardest part of parenting. Back then, she was up every two hours at night, but during the day, there were pockets of rest while her baby napped. Newborns, after all, spend much of their time sleeping.
Now, as the mum of a toddler, sleep is no longer the issue. Her son sleeps through the night, which should, in theory, make life easier. But with toddlers, the challenges don’t come at 2 a.m.—they come during the day, when you’re trying to navigate their rollercoaster of emotions.
One mum shared her perspective, saying, “Mine is 18 months old, and it is ROUGH, but I’d rather the tantrums and emotional breakdowns than running on ZERO sleep and postpartum depression.” It’s a sentiment many mums can relate to. While the exhaustion of newborn life is relentless, toddlerhood tests your patience and emotional stamina in entirely different ways.
If there’s one thing toddlerhood guarantees, it’s unpredictability. Her son has cried because he couldn’t touch the dog’s food, thrown a tantrum over not being allowed to climb on the table, and even sucker-punched her in the face—only to burst into tears, blaming her for the incident.
These moments, while maddening in the moment, often become laughable with time. She’s learned to find humour in the chaos, even when it feels like she’s barely holding it together. After all, toddlers have a way of turning the simplest things into the most dramatic events.
Another mum commented, “I’d rather deal with the tantrums than the sleepless nights, but some days it feels like a toss-up!” It’s a sentiment that sums up toddlerhood perfectly. Each phase of parenting has its unique challenges, and sometimes, it’s hard to decide which one is harder.
Despite the challenges of those early weeks, she finds herself longing for the newborn phase again. There’s a certain simplicity to caring for a newborn. Yes, you’re exhausted, but the demands are straightforward: feed, burp, change, cuddle, repeat. There are no tantrums, no power struggles, and no emotional outbursts over things that don’t make sense.
She looks forward to the day she gets to experience those newborn snuggles again. The idea of holding a tiny baby, rocking them to sleep, and enjoying the quiet moments feels like a welcome reprieve from the constant energy of toddlerhood. Plus, with her husband stepping up to handle the toddler, she might actually get to savour those newborn days the second time around.
Motherhood isn’t about comparing one phase to another or deciding which is harder. Each stage comes with its own joys and struggles, testing you in different ways. The newborn phase challenges your endurance, while toddlerhood pushes your patience and sense of humour to the limit.
For every tantrum, there’s a moment of pure joy—a big hug, a sweet smile, or a spontaneous giggle that reminds you why it’s all worth it. These are the moments that make the trenches bearable.
To the mums who feel like they’re barely keeping their heads above water, she offers this reminder: It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. You’re not alone. Every mum has been there, wondering if they’re doing enough or if they’ll ever make it through the chaos. But the truth is, these tough days are temporary. One day, you’ll look back and laugh at the absurd moments, like the time your toddler cried because you wouldn’t let them eat a rock.
© Mindsmaking 2024
